42 Situations When You Should Lie, Posted By This TikToker Who Gives Women Safety Tips

We’re told from kindergarten that “honesty is the best policy.”
But if you’re a woman who’s ever had a stranger follow you home, a rideshare driver oversharing,
or a “nice guy” who doesn’t understand the word no, you already know there’s an important exception:
sometimes, a tiny, strategic lie can keep you safe.

That’s the idea behind the viral Bored Panda feature about a TikToker, lifestyle expert Cathy Pedrayes,
often called TikTok’s “Mom Friend.” In her videos, she shares “42 situations when you should lie” –
not to scam people or be manipulative, but to get out of uncomfortable, potentially dangerous situations
without escalating them. Think of it as safety-focused improv: a few pre-planned white lies that make it
easier to protect your boundaries when your brain freezes in the moment.

In this article, we’ll unpack the thinking behind those 42 situations, look at why many safety experts
quietly support protective white lies, and explore how to use them responsibly. We’ll also walk through
real-life scenarios and extra tips inspired by women, safety organizations, and bystander-intervention
research. Spoiler: you can be both a good person and someone who lies to a pushy stranger about where you live.

Meet the TikTok “Mom Friend” Behind the Viral List

Cathy Pedrayes is a safety and lifestyle expert who built a massive following on TikTok by doing what every
group chat needs: being the Mom Friend. She posts short, direct videos about everyday security things like
what to keep in your car, why you shouldn’t share your hotel room number out loud, or what to say if someone
won’t stop asking personal questions in public.

Bored Panda featured her “42 situations when you should lie” as a way to highlight just how often women are
forced to navigate social situations where politeness and safety clash. The list covers moments like:

• When someone you don’t know insists on walking you home.
• When a stranger asks if you live alone.
• When a rideshare driver wants to know if anyone’s waiting up for you.
• When a neighbor you barely know asks where you work and what your schedule is.
• When someone asks for your real phone number and won’t accept “no.”

In each case, Cathy suggests simple, believable responses that protect your privacy and subtly signal that
you’re not an easy target. The point isn’t drama, it’s damage control.

Why “Good Girls Don’t Lie” Is Dangerous Safety Advice

The pressure to be polite at all costs

Many women are raised on a low-key curriculum of “don’t be rude”: smile, be nice, say thank you, apologize
for existing, and definitely don’t make anyone uncomfortable. The problem? Harassers, manipulators, and
creeps depend on that conditioning. They count on you worrying more about seeming rude than about staying safe.

Research and safety organizations repeatedly point out that women are often harassed in everyday places –
on public transportation, at work, on the street, while traveling, even in their own neighborhoods.
Advice from personal safety experts often includes trusting your instincts, creating distance, and
using pre-planned responses when you feel cornered or pressured. Those responses
sometimes involve… yep, lying.

What safety experts actually say

Modern safety guidance for womenand for anyone facing harassmentoften includes strategies like:

• Setting clear boundaries and walking away.
• Using distraction to defuse a situation.
• Bringing other people or staff into the conversation.
• Keeping personal information vague or completely false.

A small, safety-focused lie falls into that last category. Saying “My partner is about to meet me,”
or “My roommate is expecting me home right now,” or “I work irregular shifts, I’m never really alone”
can discourage someone who’s trying to isolate you or test your vulnerability without you having to
debate them or disclose details about your life.

To be clear: this does not mean lying in legal, medical, financial, or professional situations.
We’re talking about everyday interactions with strangers, acquaintances, or dates, where your safety and
comfort come first.

42 Situations Where a Strategic White Lie Can Protect You

The original list is long and very specific, but most tips fit into a few big categories. You can adapt
them to your own life, city, and comfort level. The goal is to keep your details fuzzy and your safety sharp.

1. When strangers ask for personal information

This is where many of Cathy’s suggestions shine. You do not owe anyone the truth about
where you live, who you live with, or your daily schedule.

• “Do you live alone?”
  Safe lie: “No, my roommate and her boyfriend are always around.”
  Why it helps: It signals that other adults are present and paying attention.
• “Which building is yours?”
  Safe lie: Point to a different building and say you live there, then walk into a busy area instead.
  Why it helps: You don’t reveal your door, entrance, or exact location.
• “What time do you get off work?”
  Safe lie: “My schedule changes all the time.”
  Why it helps: It prevents someone from tracking your routine.

2. When you’re trying to leave an uncomfortable conversation

If someone won’t take “no” for an answer, you don’t have to stay and debate your own boundaries.
A quick excuse true or not can give you a clean exit.

• “My friends are waiting for me, I really have to go.”
• “I’m late to meet my sister; she’s already texting me.”
• “I have an early morning and need to get home now.”

These may be real, or they may be pure fiction. Either way, they clearly communicate:
this interaction is over.

3. When dating or meeting someone new

First dates and new acquaintances can be tricky. You want to be open, but not so open that someone
could show up at your front door uninvited later.

• Use a nearby cross street rather than your exact address if someone asks where you live.
• Lie about living with a roommate (or two) if someone seems too curious about whether you’re alone.
• If a date offers to drive you home and you’re not comfortable, blame an “early morning,”
  “a ride with a friend,” or “house rules” instead of trying to justify why you don’t want them to know where you live.

You’re allowed to move slowly with trust. If the relationship becomes healthy and long-term,
you can always correct the “I have a roommate” story later with a laugh and a reasonable explanation.

4. When using rideshares, taxis, and public transportation

Transportation is a huge area where women report feeling unsafe especially late at night.
Strategic lies can put up invisible guardrails.

• Tell a driver, “My partner/roommate is tracking my ride,” even if they’re not.
  You can even pretend to send a message when you get in the car.
• If you feel uneasy, say, “I’m getting out here to meet my friends,” and exit in a busy, well-lit area.
• When asked, “Are you going home alone?” reply with, “No, my family is up waiting for me”
  even if the reality is your cat and a frozen pizza.

5. When traveling or staying in hotels

Hotels, hostels, and short-term rentals are a favorite setting for Cathy’s tips, and for good reason.
A surprising number of people casually ask for details that could make you easy to find.

• Never say your room number out loud in a lobby or elevator. If someone asks,
  “Which room are you in?” reply with “Oh, I always forget the number” or “I’ll need my key card to check.”
• If a stranger pushes for how long you’re staying, say, “I’m just here for a quick work trip,”
  even if you’re staying for a week.
• If someone at the bar asks if you’re traveling alone, say, “I’m here with coworkers;
  they went up to the room already.”

6. When people fish for online and social media details

Social media gives strangers a map of your life if you’re not careful. You don’t have to hand
them the legend too.

• If someone you don’t trust asks for your Instagram handle, consider giving a secondary or private account
  or a polite white lie that you’re “taking a break from social media.”
• When asked about your job online, use general industry labels (“I work in healthcare” or “I’m in tech”)
  instead of naming your exact workplace.
• If someone insists on video chatting when you’re not comfortable, blame “bad Wi-Fi” or “data limits”
  instead of revealing that you simply don’t feel safe yet.

How to Use Safety Lies Responsibly

Let’s be honest (ironically): “You should lie more” can sound sketchy.
The difference between manipulative lying and strategic safety lies comes down to intent, context, and impact.

• Use them only for safety and privacy. These tips are not a free pass to
  lie in relationships, at work, or in situations that affect other people’s rights, money, or wellbeing.
• Keep it simple. Short, boring lies are more believable and less stressful
  to remember: “I’m meeting someone,” “My schedule changes,” “My roommate’s home.”
• Pair lies with action. Don’t just say you’re meeting friends
  actually move toward a populated, well-lit area, a store, or staff member.
• Know your legal and ethical lines. Do not lie to law enforcement, in legal documents,
  in medical contexts, or in ways that could harm someone else or obstruct justice.
• Trust your instincts. If your gut says, “This person doesn’t need this information,”
  it’s okay to be vague or completely fictional.

A Quick Safety Toolkit to Go with Your White Lies

White lies work best as part of a larger safety strategy, not your only tool.
Experts often suggest combining them with:

• Strong boundaries: Practice saying, “No, thanks,” “I’m not comfortable with that,”
  or “I’m going to head out now,” so the words feel familiar when you need them.
• Bystander allies: If you feel unsafe, approach staff, a group of friends, or another woman
  and say, “Can you pretend to know me?” or “I think I’m being followed, can I walk with you?”
• Safety apps and check-ins: Share your live location with a trusted friend,
  set check-in texts, or use rideshare safety features.
• Body language: Walking with purpose, making brief eye contact, and
  looking aware of your surroundings can discourage some opportunistic behavior.
• Exit plans: Before you go somewhere, decide where you would stand, who you would talk to,
  or how you’d leave if you felt uncomfortable. Your “white-lie script” fits right into that plan.

Real-Life Experiences and Lessons from These Safety Tips

If you scroll through the comments under Cathy Pedrayes’ videos or the Bored Panda feature,
you see the same thing over and over: women sharing moments when a small, well-timed lie
made the difference between “weird encounter” and “genuinely scary incident.”

Picture this: you’re leaving a late shift at work, walking to your car in a dim parking garage.
A stranger suddenly changes direction to walk alongside you and starts asking questions:
“Do you work here alone? What time do you finish? Which car is yours?”
Your brain goes blank because you didn’t expect an impromptu interview about your vulnerability.

If you’ve thought about this kind of situation ahead of time, you don’t have to improvise from scratch.
You might say calmly:

• “Oh, I’m just heading to meet my brother; he’s already in the car.”
• “My schedule changes; tonight I’m leaving early because someone’s picking me up.”
• “I’m actually walking to meet friends on the next block.”

None of those statements reveal your real routine, your real car, or the fact that no one is with you.
Combined with walking toward a busier area or pulling out your phone to “call someone,”
they can be enough to discourage someone who was testing how alone you are.

Another common scenario: rideshares. Many women describe chatty drivers who start with small talk and
gradually slide into personal territory: “Do you live alone?” “Is anyone waiting for you?”
“Do you always take this route?” Even if the driver is completely harmless, you’re allowed to protect your peace.

That’s where a preplanned, harmless lie comes in:

• “My roommate hates when I’m late; she’s still up.”
• “My partner tracks my rides for fun; they’re a little paranoid.”
• “I’m staying with family; my uncle’s already at home.”

These responses aren’t invitations to continue the conversation; they’re soft boundaries wrapped in
a socially acceptable excuse. You don’t have to say, “Your questions are making me uncomfortable”
if that feels too risky in the moment even though you absolutely have the right to say it.

Women also describe using safety lies in dating situations. If a first date doesn’t feel right,
you can say you have to leave early for an early shift, that you promised a friend you’d meet them,
or that you can’t have someone walk you home because of “house rules.” You’re not obligated to say,
“You give me bad vibes and I don’t want you anywhere near my apartment,” even if that’s the truth
running through your head.

For many people, the biggest shift isn’t the lie itself it’s giving themselves permission to lie.
We’re so used to protecting other people’s feelings that we forget our own safety comes first.
Once you consciously decide, “My safety is more important than this stranger’s impression of me,”
it gets easier to respond quickly and confidently.

Of course, not every situation can be solved with a clever line. Sometimes the safest move is to get loud,
involve bystanders, call authorities, or leave immediately with no explanation at all.
But having a mental library of non-escalating, low-drama safety lies gives you more options.
It’s like carrying a first-aid kit for social danger: you hope you never need it,
but you’re very glad it’s there when things start to feel off.

The deeper lesson behind those “42 situations” is simple:
you’re allowed to rewrite the “good girl” script. You don’t owe politeness to people who make you uncomfortable.
You don’t owe the truth to someone who’s trying to collect information about you.
You are allowed to do what you need to do including lying to get home safe.

Final Thoughts: You Don’t Owe Strangers the Truth About Your Life

The Bored Panda article and Cathy Pedrayes’ TikToks resonate because they say the quiet part out loud:
women already lie all the time for safety. All this list does is give language, structure, and permission
to something many people have been doing instinctively for years.

Honesty remains crucial in relationships, in work, with professionals, and in any situation where trust and
accountability matter. But when it comes to random strangers, pushy acquaintances, or people who clearly
aren’t respecting your boundaries, a well-placed white lie can be the most honest thing you tell yourself:
My safety matters more than this person’s approval.

So the next time someone you barely know leans in and asks, “Are you here all alone?”
feel free to smile and say, “Nope, I’m not.” Whether that backup is real, hypothetical, or named after your cat
is absolutely none of their business.