Are You Giving Someone the Ick Quiz

You know that sudden full-body cringe you get when your crush does something tiny but… unforgivable?
That’s “the ick.” Now flip the script for a second: what if you’re the one
giving somebody else the ick?

This playful “Are You Giving Someone the Ick” quiz is designed in classic wikiHow style: simple steps,
reflection, and practical advice. Under the jokes, though, it’s grounded in real relationship psychology.
Therapists describe the ick as a sudden feeling of disgust or aversion toward someone you were previously
attracted to, often triggered by small behaviors or quirks rather than huge betrayals.

The ick doesn’t always mean you’re a bad person or a terrible partner. Sometimes it points to genuine red
flags. Other times, it’s about fear of intimacy, avoidant attachment, or perfectionism in dating.
This quiz helps you figure out whether your own habits might be unintentionally triggering that “nope”
response in someone elseand what you can do to turn icks into green flags.

What Does “Giving Someone the Ick” Actually Mean?

In modern dating slang, “the ick” is a sudden, sometimes dramatic shift in attraction:
one day they’re into you, the next day your laugh, your texts, or the way you hold a fork makes them want
to run for the hills. Researchers and relationship experts describe it as a rapid drop in perceived
compatibility or “mate value,” often sparked by small behaviors that feel off, embarrassing, or just
deeply unappealing.

Common ick triggers include:

• Crude or insensitive jokes in public.
• Talking badly about service workers or exes.
• Clingy texting or demanding constant reassurance.
• Lack of basic hygiene or respect for personal space.
• Embarrassing performative behavior meant to impress, but missing the mark.

Social media has turned icks into a sportpeople list their icks on TikTok, podcasts, and dating forums.
But beneath the memes, there’s something real: the ick can be a defense mechanism against vulnerability
or a clue that your values and your date’s values just don’t line up.

Are You Giving Someone the Ick? Take the Quiz

Grab a pen or open your notes app. For each statement below, rate how often it’s true for you when you’re
dating someone new:

• 0 = Never
• 1 = Sometimes
• 2 = Often

Section A: Behavior and Social Awareness

1. I make edgy or dark jokes on early dates to “test” their sense of humor.
2. I talk over my date or dominate the conversation without noticing.
3. I complain about servers, baristas, or customer service in front of my date.
4. I overshare personal or intimate details in the first few meetings.
5. I sometimes act louder, showier, or more dramatic in public to impress them.

Section B: Communication and Texting Style

6. I double-text or triple-text if they don’t respond quickly.
7. I send long paragraphs and feel upset if they respond with short replies.
8. I use passive-aggressive messages like “nvm” or “guess you’re busy…” when they’re slow to reply.
9. I frequently check when they were last active or seen online and bring it up.
10. I expect quick replies from them even though my own response times are inconsistent.

Section C: Boundaries and Pace

11. I talk about “our future” (kids, marriage, moving in together) very early on.
12. I feel offended if they want to slow things down or take more time to define the relationship.
13. I get jealous if they spend time with friends or don’t invite me to every event.
14. I stalk their social media and secretly judge who they follow or like.
15. I ask for constant reassurance that they still like me.

Section D: Self-Care and Emotional Maturity

16. I show up late a lot and assume they’ll be fine with it.
17. I rarely reflect on my own patterns in past relationships.
18. I get defensive when someone gently points out something I did that bothered them.
19. I make jokes about therapy or say I “don’t believe in that stuff.”
20. I think if someone really likes me, they should accept all my behavior without question.

Add up your points from all 20 questions. That’s your Ick Score.

How to Read Your “Ick Score”

0–10 Points: Probably Not the Ick

You’re unlikely to be a walking ick. You might still have quirkseveryone doesbut you’re generally
respectful, emotionally aware, and considerate. People may still lose interest (that’s part of dating),
but it’s probably not because you’re a cringe compilation in human form.

This is a good zone, but don’t get cocky. Stay open to feedback. Even low-ick people can accidentally
trigger someone’s pet peeves, especially with different backgrounds or sensitivities.

11–20 Points: Mild to Moderate Ick Potential

You’ve got a few habits that might rub people the wrong waynothing catastrophic, but enough to switch
off someone’s excitement if they’re already a bit unsure. Think of this as a “work-on-it” score, not a
“you are doomed” rating.

Focus on small, easy wins:

• Practice active listening instead of monologuing.
• Dial back spam texting and respect response times.
• Be careful with jokes that punch down or embarrass others.

21–30 Points: High Ick Risk

You might be unintentionally overwhelming, inconsiderate, or emotionally unavailable in ways that show
up quickly when you date. People may describe you as “a lot,” “too intense,” or “too much drama,” even
if your intentions are good.

This doesn’t make you a villain. It simply means your behaviors and your self-awareness are out of sync.
Reflect on your patterns: do people pull away quickly? Do situations repeat with different partners?
A therapist, coach, or honest friend can help you spot patterns you don’t see yet.

31–40 Points: You Are the Ick (But You Can Change)

If you’re in this range, it’s likely that your behavior regularly triggers that instant “nope” for others.
Maybe you steamroll boundaries, joke at someone’s expense, or present as very needy or very detached. The
good news: icks come from behavior, and behavior can change.

This is your invitation to slow down, get curious, and do the workon communication, emotional regulation,
and self-respect. When you shore up those areas, you become less of an ick and more of a green flag.

Common Ways People Accidentally Give Others the Ick

Dating research and therapist insights show that ick triggers often fall into a few big categories.

1. Disrespectful or Unkind Behavior

Watching someone snap at a server, mock a stranger, or speak cruelly about an ex is a classic ick moment.
It signals:

• Poor empathy and emotional regulation.
• A risk of being treated the same way later.
• Immaturity or entitlement.

If you’re polite to your date but rude to everyone else, you’re building ick energy fast.

2. Clinginess and Over-Texting

Constant check-ins, needy texts, or guilt-tripping someone for having a life outside you can turn initial
excitement into pressure. Attraction likes a bit of space. When every delayed reply becomes a crisis,
people feel smothered rather than adored.

3. Trying Too Hard to Impress

Bragging nonstop, flexing money, or forcing humor can trigger secondhand embarrassment. Modern dating
culture has a low tolerance for performative behavior that feels inauthentic or attention-seeking.
Genuine curiosity and humility read as confident; overcompensation reads as ick.

4. Ignoring Boundaries

Pushing for more intimacy, faster commitment, or more access to someone’s life than they’re ready for can
feel intrusive. When someone says “I’d like to take things slow,” treating that as a challenge rather than
a limit is a major red flag.

5. Lack of Self-Work

More people are aware of mental health and emotional maturity than ever. Bragging about never reflecting,
never apologizing, or never considering therapy can signal that you’re not interested in growth. That’s
a quiet but powerful ick for people who are serious about their own development.

From Icks to Green Flags: What to Do If Your Score Is High

The goal of an “Are You Giving Someone the Ick” quiz isn’t to shame you. It’s to give you a mirror. If
that mirror is a little harsh today, here’s how to use it instead of avoiding it.

1. Start With Self-Awareness, Not Self-Hate

Feeling defensive or embarrassed is normal. Don’t spiral into “I’m unlovable” territory. Instead, pick
two or three items from the quiz that felt uncomfortably accurate and make those your starting points.
Concrete behaviors are easier to change than vague personality labels.

2. Practice Small Behavior Swaps

• Swap bragging for asking questions about your date.
• Swap “Why didn’t you text back?” for “Hope your day went okay :)” and let it rest.
• Swap public teasing for private, respectful conversations when something bothers you.

These small shifts can dramatically change how safe and respected someone feels around you.

3. Learn to Regulate Your Anxiety

Many icky behaviorsclinginess, constant checking, controlling tendenciesare anxiety in disguise.
Instead of lashing out, notice what you’re actually afraid of: rejection, abandonment, being “too much.”
Self-soothing, journaling, and talking to a therapist or trusted friend can help you handle those feelings
without turning them into someone else’s problem.

4. Embrace Imperfection (Theirs and Yours)

Ironically, people who are extremely prone to icks often give icks because they expect perfectionfrom
themselves and from others. If you treat every small flaw as a dealbreaker, you’ll radiate judgmental
energy that people feel immediately.

Learning to tolerate quirks, awkward moments, and occasional weird behavior makes you warmer, safer, and
more attractive. It also makes it less likely you’ll turn into someone’s walking ick list.

Green Flags to Focus On Instead of Avoiding Every Ick

Modern dating language is obsessed with red flags and icks, but focusing only on what to avoid can make
you hypercritical. Relationship experts encourage people to watch for green flags as
wellpositive behaviors that signal emotional health and compatibility.

• Kindness under pressure: They stay respectful even when stressed or upset.
• Consistent effort: They follow through on what they say they’ll do.
• Curiosity and listening: They ask questions and remember little details about you.
• Accountability: They can apologize and change behavior, not just talk about it.
• Healthy independence: They maintain friendships, hobbies, and boundariesand respect yours.

When you actively practice these green flags, you don’t just stop giving people the ickyou start actively
making them feel safe, valued, and excited to be around you.

How to Use This Quiz in Real Life (Without Overthinking Everything)

A quick reminder: this is a tool, not a diagnosis. People are allowed to have pet peeves, preferences, and
turn-offs. You cannot control every reaction someone has to youand you shouldn’t try.

What you can control is:

• How you treat others in public and private.
• How you communicate your feelings and needs.
• How open you are to feedback and growth.
• How willing you are to look at your own patterns honestly.

If you use your Ick Score as feedback instead of a life sentence, you’ll grow into someone who’s not just
less icky, but genuinely more grounded and emotionally available. That’s way more attractive than pretending
you’ve never made a cringe move in your life.

Real-Life “Ick” Experiences and What They Teach Us

To make this more than just theory, let’s walk through a few realistic “ick” situationsfrom both sidesand
what you can learn from them.

Story 1: The Loud Bragger at Brunch

Alex has a great job and is understandably proud of it. On a third date, he spends most of brunch talking
about his promotion, his bonus, and how his coworkers “couldn’t do what I do.” His date laughs politely,
but inside, she feels a wave of ick. It isn’t the success that bothers her; it’s the one-man highlight reel.

From Alex’s side, he thinks he’s being impressive. From her side, it feels like he’s performing for an
invisible audience and forgetting there’s a real person sitting in front of him.

What it teaches: Confidence is attractive; constant self-promotion is not. If you recognize
yourself in Alex, try a simple rule: for every story you tell about yourself, ask at least one question about
the other person and really listen to the answer.

Story 2: The Constant Checker

Jamie feels anxious in relationships. When she starts seeing someone new, she texts throughout the day,
checks when they were last active, and panics if they don’t respond within an hour. She doesn’t yell or
insult them; instead, she sends messages like, “Guess you’re too busy,” or “It’s fine, I know you don’t
care that much.”

Her dates often pull away after a few weeks, saying things like, “I feel pressured,” or “This is too much
too fast.” To them, the constant monitoring and guilt trips are a big ick. To Jamie, it feels like she’s
just trying to feel secure.

What it teaches: Anxiety is human, but when it turns into emotional pressure, it can push
people away. Naming your anxiety (“I sometimes worry when people don’t text back quickly; I’m working on it”)
and finding ways to self-soothe between replies can reduce icky behaviors and create more secure connections.

Story 3: The “It’s Just a Joke” Person

Taylor loves sarcasm and “roasting.” On early dates, they tease about outfits, hobbies, or minor mistakes.
When someone looks uncomfortable, Taylor shrugs and says, “Relax, it’s just a joke.” Over time, dates stop
replying or say they’re not feeling a romantic connection.

The ick here comes from a mismatch in values: what feels like fun banter to Taylor feels like low-key mean
behavior to their dates. The “just a joke” defense makes it worse, because it dismisses how the other person
feels.

What it teaches: Shared humor is great; punching down, not so much. If multiple people have
told you your jokes go too far, assume they’re right and experiment with warmer, less cutting humorespecially
early on.

Story 4: The Over-Planner

Morgan falls hard and fast. After a few great dates, Morgan is already talking about trips in six months,
weekends away, and what their future apartment might look like. Their date initially finds it flattering,
but then starts to feel boxed in and overwhelmed. The charming enthusiasm becomes an ick.

What it teaches: Excitement is sweet, but people need time and emotional space to decide
what they want. Instead of building a full fantasy relationship in your head, try pacing your plans: “I’d
love to keep seeing you and see where this goes” is less icky than “Here’s our five-year roadmap.”

How to Turn These Stories Into Change

Across all these examples, one theme keeps showing up: your intention isn’t the problemyour impact
is. Most people who give others the ick aren’t trying to be awful; they’re anxious, trying to
impress, or repeating habits that once protected them emotionally.

You don’t need to erase your personality to be likable. You just need to:

• Stay curious about how your behavior lands on other people.
• Be willing to adjust when something clearly makes someone uncomfortable.
• Repair when you notice you’ve crossed a line (“Hey, I realize that might’ve come off wrongsorry about that.”).
• Work on your own fears and insecurities so they don’t leak into every interaction.

When you combine self-awareness, kindness, and a sense of humor about your own cringe moments, you become
the opposite of an ick. You become someone people feel safe opening up toand that’s infinitely more
attractive than pretending you’ve never done anything awkward in your life.

Wrapping Up: The Quiz Is a Starting Line, Not a Verdict

If your Ick Score was higher than you’d like, remember: you’re not stuck there. Dating culture loves
dramatic labels, but real growth is quiet and gradual. The fact that you’re taking an “Are You Giving
Someone the Ick Quiz” and reading the explanations already puts you ahead of people who never question
their impact at all.

Use this quiz as a checkpoint: adjust your habits, notice your patterns, and keep moving toward more
respectful, emotionally mature, and genuinely fun connections. The goal isn’t to be perfectly ick-free;
it’s to be real, kind, and willing to grow.